


VLT (Vanitas, Lettuce and Tomato)

by Aromarrym



Series: A Heart's A Heavy Burden [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Another Vanitas story, Crack, Day 2: In Between, Fluff, Gen, Heart Squad AU, Picnics, Pranks, Pre KH3 Prompts, Sandwiches, Sora's Heart Squad, Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts) is a Troll, Ventus is Surprisingly a Badass, pranks gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 07:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17678687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aromarrym/pseuds/Aromarrym
Summary: He who ruins Sandwich Saturday shall pay...as Vanitas is soon about to find out.





	VLT (Vanitas, Lettuce and Tomato)

**Author's Note:**

> I finished KH3! Yay! I wanted to stagger my gameplay but ended up binging it (of course I did) because I just could not resist. With that done and dusted, I'm getting back to the KH prompts I promised to work with!
> 
> Of all the amazing interpretations of "in-between", I really could not stop thinking about sandwiches. So, here's another Heart Squad AU! Vanitas is such a fun character, I love him.

Teaching Sora’s heartmates about sandwiches has changed their overall outlook on food. It’s funny, really. None of them really need to eat — they’re living through Sora, after all — but just because they don’t need to, that doesn’t mean they _can’t_ and _shouldn’t._ Roxas and Xion won’t be forgetting the taste of sea-salt ice cream anytime soon (“We can forget everything else,” Roxas deadpans one day, but sea-salt ice cream holds too special a place in a heart he only recently grew).

There’s little Ventus remembers about his favourite things to eat. He thinks he vaguely recalls the sweets from the stalls and festivals he’s been to many, many years ago, but there isn’t a concrete memory he can rely on. Vanitas doesn’t remember ever eating. “I consumed the darkness. It doesn’t taste as good as fried chicken,” he claims. When Sora makes them all ham sandwiches (Kairi’s own recipe, apparently) after a constant diet of fish and locally-grown fruits, they were hooked.

Every Saturday afternoon, the five of them would get together outside their home to share some around. Sometimes, it’s on a brioche bun. They’re grateful Sora keeps their fridge full of different types of meats and breads; the advantages of existing in dreams where anything Sora thinks of, goes. They each have their own sandwiches with their favourite spread or topping of choice, watching the clouds in the sky form shapes and disperse as the world turns.

Where Roxas prefers a thick chicken spread, Ventus prefers bacon, lettuce and tomato. Xion’s obsessed with cheese sandwiches and Vanitas eats his with pineapples and ketchup ( _“How? Just how?”_ Sora asks him, concern etched between his brows. Vanitas just shrugs, tormenting them all by taking large bites of his improvised pizza-wich). Meanwhile, Sora’s favourite has to be the classic chocolate spread imported from Twilight Town. No matter the state of the world, Sandwich Saturday will always be a day they looked forward to.

Unless of course, someone decides to sabotage it.

Living with Vanitas for a surplus of time hasn’t gotten rid of his maniacal nature. He may have mellowed out in Sora’s heart, but at the grave cost of his heartmates’ sanities. Today’s latest prank (read: petty revenge) is an attack on Ventus for beating him in a game of Kingdom Karts. Ventus didn’t even place first — Xion did — but getting fifth place thanks to Ventus’ power-ups warrants enough of his scheming, apparently.

This Saturday is Vanitas’ turn to make sandwiches. He also knows Ventus hates mayonnaise. Checking that there’s no one in the kitchen to witness his justified crime, Vanitas starts putting the BLT sandwich together and squeezes soft dollops of mayo in between Ven’s tomatoes. Not generous enough that it would be spilling from the sides when Ventus picks it up to nibble on, but a good amount that he would taste the pain in Ventus’ contorted expressions. To add salt to the wound, he’s even decided to add dots of tabasco on the bacon, since Ventus turns a hilarious stark red when he eats anything even barely spicy. Vanitas can see it happening now… and he is _revelling_ in it.

“Vani,” Roxas pops in quickly, peering from the side of the door at Vanitas’ back. “Need some help carrying them outside?”

Vanitas returns to decorating soft bread with strips of chicken and mayonnaise, humming innocently. Heck, why not bring Roxas along to pin the blame on him once he’s caught? “Sure. Can you help me out with Xion’s? I’m just putting together yours now.”

Roxas complies.

No one suspects him to ruin Sandwich Saturday for his brother, and that’s all good by him.

* * *

 

Today’s environment is a typical afternoon in Destiny Islands. Like always, the air is warm, and the strong smell of salt and seaweed makes it all the more immersive. Luckily, their house spawns closer to the beach, so it’s only a matter of metres before they reach the sea. Vanitas takes the plate of sandwiches and places it on a portable picnic table Sora conjured for Sandwich Saturday purposes alone. He can’t stop the snicker that escapes between his lips when he thinks about how golden the moment of truth will be.

“Roxas, just put the plate over here,” he instructs, another cheshire grin threatening to burst from the ends of his mouth. **No.** Vanitas has to hold it down for now. “Oi, you three!” he yells, calling the others from their sparring practice or whatever it is they are doing on the shore. “Sandwich time!”

“Oh, it’s sandwich time!” Sora nods excitedly, bounding over to their picnic area almost immediately. Thank goodness for Flowmotion.

“Can you teach me how to do that drop roll again, Sora?” Vanitas hears Xion ask. His target Ventus arrives last, wiping the sweat between his brows on the back of his hand. He looks especially hungry.

 _Good_ , because he’s bound to get a good serving of sweet and spicy justice.

You’d think that after several of his pranks, Vanitas would have the most composed poker face ever. It’s his loss when he gets caught scheming. To stop himself from the verge of laughing villainously, he’s the first to take a bite of his food. Sora and Roxas busy themselves with a topic of interest. Xion’s swinging one of her arms around while she eats. Vanitas momentarily looks away before Ventus catches him staring, feeling himself ready to cry of delight.

“You know, I can see you acting weird, right?” the cursed blonde says plainly. The bastard.

“Vanitas is always weird,” Sora teases. “You guys remember when he wore a towel with belts to his room?”

They all hum approvingly.

Roxas continues, “To keep the towel on while he fixes his hair, right? I don’t think it’s that bad.” Xion disagrees.

“Or, you could use a bathrobe. That exists.”

“Do you know how heavy a bathrobe is?” Vanitas says. “It’s harder to take off with all the crazy knots!” He’s forgetting that he’s supposed to be monitoring Ventus and his BLT, which the latter has surprisingly not taken a bite out of yet.

“Like the Organization coat is any lighter.”

“Like your day-to-day outfit is any lighter, with your giant shoes and unnecessary shirt layers,” he retorts, chomping down on a slice of pineapple. Sora makes a face at him.

“Van, did you forget the juice from the fridge?” says Ventus. He… he certainly _did_ , darn it. There are no jugs of juice on the table, and no plastic cups to be found. As the sandwich server that day, he’s responsible for bringing the drinks along. In his haste, it must have slipped his mind.

But Vanitas _knows_. It’s a ploy to get him to leave. To make sure he doesn’t see Ventus fall for another one of his ~~brilliant~~ conniving tricks, because the blonde is on to him. Can’t be helped, when he pulls pranks on them every now and then.

Okay, challenge accepted.

“Sorry,” he apologizes for good measure. “I’ll go get it. Don’t you go discussing about me behind my back.”

“Sure we won’t!” Xion giggles. “Hurry up, Van!”

To make sure they don’t do anything to his sandwich in return, he takes it with him when he disappears back into the house. He’s two steps ahead, heh.

Armed with the jug of juice and disposable cups not even two minutes later, Vanitas reclaims his seat and eyes Ventus ever-so-sweetly. “Here’s the juice. You’re all welcome.” Ventus still hasn’t taken a bite out of his sandwich, which isn’t like Ventus at all. The blonde loves his BLT. Has he picked the wrong prank to instigate?

He even pours his dear brother a glass of juice while he waits… as inconspicuously as he can.

When Ventus finally takes a bite of the sandwich, Vanitas feels the atmosphere drop a degree or two. Conversations are hushed, and he digs his nails into his palms, brimming with mischief. He listens for the scream, the groan, the disgusted sputtering and the tossing of the offensive sandwich to yonder side, but it never comes.

Instead, Ventus chews — savours his food, even, before going for another.

Vanitas narrows his eyes. “Oi. How’s your sandwich?” he probes, promptly finishing his own.

Ventus shrugs, “Good. Thanks.”

“Gonna take another bite?”

“Yeah. Soon.”

“What’s it taste like.”

“Like BLT.” Ventus blinks, licking his fingers coated in crumbs. “Why, did you expect me to not like it?”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

Goddamn it. Fooled again!

 If you ask Vanitas, he’ll tell you the truth: that he pulls silly pranks on his heartmates pretty much every day of the week, every month if he can help it. But what he won’t tell you is how _successful_ they are, and by golly, is that probability decreasing the more he spends time with these idiots. He can’t out-manoeuvre them anymore!

“So you put tabasco sauce in my food,” Ventus sizzles, lips pursed thin. His calm demeanour is pissing Vanitas off so much. The other three have tuned in to another one of their quarrels, it seems.

“Yes, I did.”

“And mayonnaise. You know I hate mayonnaise.”

“Yes.”

“I really, really hate it.”

“I did put mayonnaise in! Okay? You got me, haha, so brilliant. Can you just go to suffering so I can laugh maniacally now?”

Ven coughs, surely gagging behind the cool façade. “Was this… because I beat you in Kingdom Karts?”

“YES.” Vanitas tells him begrudgingly. Just when the blonde looks like he’s about to gag again, he washes everything down with the glass of juice Vanitas _got especially for him_. Then he takes another bite of the sandwich.

Like a badass.

“Thanks for the juice,” Ven mutters, his complexion not as red as Vanitas would have liked. “I knew you were gonna get back at me for that. Wasn’t sure how, but I guess we know now. **Loser**.”

 “Ooooh, Vanitas got schooled,” Sora snickers, side-bumping Roxas from his left.

“Poor Vani. Shouldn’t have left the tabasco sauce on the counter when I came to help.”

“You snitch! I was going to blame it on you!”

“You were? Whoops. Sorry.”

Roxas dodges an attack from Vanitas, hiding behind Ventus in the process. Holy crap, the blonde's still eating the sandwich. Why is he going this far to prove a point?

“Vanitas.” He hears Ventus say coolly, unsure if the blank face he's wearing means he's inwardly angry, or just fed up. “If you make my sandwich wrong again, I'm going to share your silly towel-belt selfies to people.”

“You wouldn't!”

Failing to stifle another giggle, Xion hides her face behind her hands before erupting in a fit of laughter.

“He who ruins Sandwich Saturday shall pay…” adds Sora, also hopping up and out of his place to hide behind Ventus when the raven-haired boy swipes at him too.

And it’s true. He who ruins Sandwich Saturday shall pay — Vanitas certainly did with his own humiliation. Safe to say, he’ll never ruin Sandwich Saturday again.


End file.
